


Dear Rachel

by xtina592



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game), amberprice - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Letters, Missing Persons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24689992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtina592/pseuds/xtina592
Summary: It's been nearly a month since Rachel went missing, and Chloe decides to write a letter to her that she knows can't be sent.
Relationships: Rachel Amber/Chloe Price
Kudos: 3





	Dear Rachel

Hey Rachel,  
You know things must really be bad if I’m sitting here writing you a letter on the stationery my dad got that I only ever used to write letters to Max that I never ended up sending. But it’s been exactly 27 days since I last saw you or heard from you, and I’m going out of my mind. And I’m tired of texting you and hoping with the tiny bit of hope that I actually have left that you’ll actually respond, so I figured why not give letter writing a shot. Even though I obviously can’t ever send it since I don’t know where the fuck you are.

I feel like I’m torn right down the middle because half of me is worried sick about you and afraid that something bad has happened to you. But the other part of me is fucking pissed because I know with you there’s a possibility that you just took off. And if that’s the case, I don’t know if I would truly be able to forgive that. I know you’re a free spirit and have been saying for years how you wanted to get out of Arcadia Bay and this was never going to be your permanent home, but fuck dude, why wouldn’t you tell me? Even if you didn’t want me to come with you, couldn’t you have just let me know you were leaving? That’s the problem being best friends with someone who’s so fearless and loves adventure-you never know what they’ll do that ends up hurting you. And obviously I want you to be happy, I don’t want you to be miserable and stay in a town you hate and be surrounded by people you can’t stand. But am I that selfish of a person if I say I wish I was enough to make you happy? To make living in Arcadia surrounded by these assholes actually bearable, because we’re together? I don’t mean I’ll be upset if you find happiness with someone else, I just don’t like that I’d be the one getting hurt if that happens. Ugh fuck, that sounds selfish, doesn’t it?

Look, you know all my issues, especially the biggie-abandonment. I think what it comes down to is I’m terrified of getting abandoned again. I know it’s a different situation than with my dad because he’s ‘gone’ gone and you’re probably off on some beach living it up with your new friends, but I just don’t want to lose you. And I know if I actually said that to your face you’d reassure me and tell me we’re always gonna be in each others’ lives, and I know that’s better than nothing. But I also know that if I’m not actually with you then it’s gonna be so easy to drift apart. Hell, look at Max and I. I know I shouldn’t compare you and I with my friendship with Max, but how do I really know the outcome won’t be the same? That was someone I would have bet a million bucks on that we would remain close and talk all the time, but I haven’t heard a peep from her. And she’s definitely not social like you, which means I know I’d have to compete with new people in your life and probably a new best friend or some guy you just met that you’ll claim ‘changed your life’. Shit, there I go sounding selfish again…

Before I met you, the two most important people in my life were suddenly out of it. I seriously don’t know what I would have done or where I would have ended up if you didn’t come around. You truly are my guardian angel. You came into my life when I had literally no one, when I needed someone most. And that’s what scares me-needing someone that badly. I don’t like relying on anybody for anything. I don’t like appearing weak or owing anyone any favors. But I do need you, Rachel. I’ve seen what my life would be like without you, and I don’t ever wanna go back to that time. Especially now that I’ve experienced knowing you and being a part of your life. You make me happy to be alive. But that’s the dangerous part. Now that I am without you, what the hell do I do? That’s exactly why I don’t like getting attached to anyone, because now I feel so fucking empty and the pain just isn’t going away. And I feel stupid for hoping that one day you’ll come walking through my front door like you’ve done a million times. But if I don’t have that little bit of hope, things are gonna get way too dark. And I can’t handle that kind of darkness, I don’t want to face it again. Plus if I even take too long considering the other possibility...that you could be...no, I’m not even gonna write the word. I refuse to believe that’s what’s happened. 

So I guess that means I’ll just keep believing that you took off somewhere...without me. It’s the only way I can keep the hope alive that I’ll see you again one day. But on the other side of it, it makes me feel like total shit that you didn’t want me to come with you or think it was important to at least say goodbye. And you know damn well how it fucking destroys me just thinking of how I never got the chance to say goodbye to my dad. So yeah, I’m gonna keep looking for you and I’m never gonna stop believing that you’re out there somewhere. And yeah, I’ll probably give you the biggest fucking hug in the history of hugs when I see you and cry and tell you how much I’ve missed you, but that anger that I’m feeling right now...that’s still gonna be there. Because it is completely fucked up that you would bail on me like this. I thought I meant more to you than that. You mean the absolute world to me and I would do anything for you, but it really fucking sucks when you realize the person you love more than anyone doesn’t love you as much as you love them. 

I guess for now I’ll put this in an envelope and stick it in the box under my bed. Maybe I’ll give it to you when I see you again, maybe I’ll just say all this to your face. Or maybe I’ll chicken out and block out the anger and just hug you and cry about how much I’ve missed you and go right back to normal. Stay tuned I guess. Funny, I would have thought getting my feelings out like this would have made me feel better. But all it’s done is remind me how much I fucking miss you…  
Please be alive Rachel...please  
Love, Chloe

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!


End file.
